


Her True Power

by aeducans



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Companion Lavellan, Gen, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Male-Female Friendship, Prompt Fill
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-10
Updated: 2018-12-10
Packaged: 2019-09-15 09:56:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16931091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aeducans/pseuds/aeducans
Summary: Dorian and Ghilanel share some words after Adamant, in an AU world state where Ghilanel’s cousin Varevas is a companion.For DADWC, with the prompt, "aspectabund - letting emotion show easily through the face or eyes."





	Her True Power

When she finally prodded him, it was like a mask fell away. Dorian's face had always been expressive but this was new, more raw than anything she'd seen since Halward ambushed them in Redcliffe. She knew he didn't blame her but that didn't make her feel a great deal better. Closing the distance between them, Ghilanel reached out to lay a hand–her right one, the one that hadn't sent her, Solas, Varevas, and Sera back into the Fade–on Dorian's arm.

"I'm sorry. I reacted on instinct and believe me, I never wanted to go back to the Fade. I… wish I could promise you it won’t happen again but–”

"Oh, don't be so foolish. We both know better than that and I should hope you know that's not what I'm hoping to hear." Dorian withdrew a little, moving away from her touch so she let her hand drop and regarded him as he started to turn away.

"What _are_ you hoping to hear then, Dorian?”

When he turned back around his arms were crossed, his mouth pinched and small, his entire being seeming to retreat in on itself. "Sometimes I don't think you understand the full extent of your power, you know? I've seen the way you conduct yourself, trying to save as many lives as you can wherever you can, but that's on a worldwide scale. Have you considered the impact you have on the lives of those closest to you?"

Ghilanel stayed silent. It was clear from the slight edge of anger creeping into Dorian's fear that he had more to say and while she wasn't sure she was ready to hear it, she was certainly going to try. If nothing else, there would never be a better time for him to say it.

"I have found here a place where I can be myself more fully than ever before in my life, and every time the two of you leave this absurd gray icebox I have to wonder if that place is going to slip through my fingers. I don't think you understand how horrible that feels. If you weren't here, how long do you think they'd allow a Tevinter mage to stay? And beyond that..." Dorian sighed and his shoulders slumped. "When you leave, you take Solas with you. I wouldn't expect you not to, it's natural, to want to have the person you care about most close to you in times of uncertainty and danger and the end of the entire damn world. You can protect one another that way, you can be aware of one another. But this time, you took Varevas and all I could do was watch as he disappeared into the Fade. You may be my best friend but all I could think was, this is it, I'm never going to see him again."

"Dorian–"

"I have the entire rest of the world waiting with baited breath to take this away from me, Ghilanel." He continued as if she hadn't spoken, leaving her feeling slightly chastized but then, she deserved that. This clearly wasn't easy. Dorian’s eyes were lit with a kind of sad desperation and he unfolded one arm, clenching his fist in front of his chest. She almost wished he could see himself, or that Varevas could see him like this. How many words it might save between the two of them when Dorian's face spoke volumes. "I need to know that you understand how difficult it is for me when you play a part in that, even if you don't mean to. I can't protect him and I know it's not fair to ask you to do that but you are the only person that can. So please. _Please._ "

Ghilanel moved in again, this time closing both her hands around Dorian's fist. "Dorian, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I never considered that when I was deciding who would be with me at the front line at Adamant, even if I couldn't have predicted what would come of it. I'll try to be more mindful in the future. I don't know what that means but I will try. But also… I don't think I'm the only person who needs to hear this," she said, lowering her voice as a familiar head of red hair appeared through the doorway in from the exterior walkway. A blast of cold air blew through the second floor of the rotunda and Dorian closed his eyes and shook his head.

"He has the most astonishing sense of timing, doesn't he?"

"Inquisitor, Dorian, am I… interrupting?" Varevas looked between each of their faces and their joined hands and Ghilanel laughed before leaning up and kissing Dorian on the cheek. The desperation in his eyes faded to something fonder as he unclenched his hand and turned his attention to Varevas. 

"Don't worry, I was just leaving, but we were just talking about you. You should ask Dorian about it." She turned to make her way down the stairs, just catching the beginning of their conversation as she went.

"Only good things, I hope?"

"As if there were any other kind, _amatus._ "

**Author's Note:**

> find me on [tumblr](http://sulevinblade.tumblr.com)!


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